I am alive. Never has a statement proved more powerful than now. That I, me, am alive is such an ordinarily profound occasion. My beating heart being so full that I thought I might die! Oh such a shock it was to me to be happy. I mistook the fullness for ache and the tears rushing down my face for pain. My body so unused to the feeling of joy that I thought these were my last moments. Oh hallowed be thy name that I get to see this day. So many times were I to cut my string but you prevented me! So many times I suffered in complete agony to be filled with such ecstasy! My face once contorted and askew while writhing with mourning now sore with cheer and gladness as if the sun were shining down just for me. Oh delight my old friend! How ecstatic am I to see you again! How I pray you continue to dwell here forever. For while you may come and go I know in me you will always have a home.

uh, yeah cop me a nick, then i got me an eight yo im feeling so great but i'm hurting inside wiz in the leaf, oh, i feel so complete when the cannabis healing me up in my mind swapping spit as we passing hits, i'm a pacifist as we cyphing spliffs ima vibe with this, until the sun's down run now before i take your bitch that's the drugs talking on the flow i breathe, its c.o.l.d I sly when i wear my sleeves the masculinity back, what you say about me? i'm j a c k when the trades on me, ay i'm shmacked im gone, nah little nigga leave me alone you not finna go kill my vibe we kick, push and have a good time when i techteck, stake 4 came, i aint even upset two step to the beat when im off meds smoking this pen as a freshman, high off life, didn't get caught yet hilda in the back of this madness, two souls in the dark running rampant dominos on the floor, playing travis, stargaze in la flame of this magic so anxious, left at eleven, thirty im thirsty for pussy, dem hips and those curves got me frisky (e e) Lust, i fucked so much, everything feels empty And i'm a good kid in a maad city now i'm faded off of angel dust what? Stressing heavy insomnia Medication that Ranidom So, deceiving I’m floating I’m glad were grieving this moment Stones and bath water Temperature on a breeze counter Fahrenheit Baking soda that vinegar 123 and its hopeless Been alone and just breathing Sometimes I fear that you need me Cause anxiety creeping I’m crying picking the pieces Bad decisions this rhythm Step on one just forget it Money mayhem this river I cry in tears of expenses You can hold on to me Or remind me my efforts But in heaven or hell Which side decides if you special This remote satisfaction Life attracts your reaction Then delivers the madness Now your tipping the casket Guess I’m back above lust Oh babe you love me too much I just can’t get enough Attached I’m damaged and stuck When it’s over remember the times we fought and we shared Cause it’s funny how much you hurt knowing when I’m right here

Huh, yeah, I preserve through the surface, and piercing my fears away The church is getting the worship, i’m surfing before the waves im going through with motions, im hoping i break the cycle of feeling so goddamn hopeless Im chosen to be one to killing my foes with guns. I light a hole through your gut and praying i see my sun. Im using my Ak's to penetrate heaven's gates to find a solid solution instead of being a stalemate in my life Who would’ve thought I could make it through a year of college Who would’ve thought i’d be standing here 20 years old Who would’ve thought i would be alone feeling the silence Who would’ve Thought I would be a better man than my own life’s funny dawg, Am i the fucking clown? are you around when the petal doesn’t hit the ground? tired of feeling lost, i’m tired of feeling shitty I gotta stay strong & be involved to help me city I wasn’t like this before, I was righteous and bold wit the coldest of flows and you heard it from Cole, when im murking the shows at vsu im immune to the bullshit yall throw at me keep faith brother man we gonna find the peace, by any means we sharing greens smoking trees my love so vivid when it's written, by nas east side where we living, doves flys comes by when its finished 2000, i was born to different, i am a nigga that speaks of the rivers bathe in the royal blood of my ancestors (bathe in the royal blood of my ancestors) (rest in peace mac miller ) fanaticize my demise, i keep the rope with me close enslave my body and mind, i found my peace down below niggas be rachet and clink, clinging to the past lamenting on feast inside the beast, and it rinks Feeling all the masses decrease, cease the moment for once let me free, still i wake up, tangled in the depth of sheets seeking of validation, self worth in the price of your hands put em to work, build a foundation of love so nobody can hurt, fake bitches taking shit instead of handling business, talk what you eat sick of disses, wash ya plate, carrying all the self hate leaving your stains, telling niggas how to live ya life find your own, bring more peace to ya broken soul tying in the memories, when we shared our shoes my stupid ass kept running into you left me tripping in my lingering attachments to you man what a fool, native state of mind get you fucked up pure hearted like the moon, wish i learn much quicker than few still i dreamt about ending my life into two seconds depending on old friendships to harvest these wounds Nineteen, feeling like being alone is a flu where god when you need em to relive all these demons and feasting on my weak organs, recording on the socials just coping with this internal bleeding fill me up with hope and joy, no cap, the fake warmth wasn’t doing good dug my head in the shadows to find solace in that heavy rain was hitting my scorching top get a sweater young one, fend of yourself thru the storm that’s why i don’t take hugs anymore, lay my corpse in the evening so nobody can see me freaking bleeding nigga

Me and my homies be chilling, just tryna feel the vibes just wanna get my life right but stay criticized Been a joke all my life, niggas sympathize Just have to make out this world, help me visualize so many fake people with the darkest of lies Won't stop grinding nigga, till i hear the thrill and cries. Came from the bottom now, I am shooting for the skies why bother looking for the gold, while i got the mine shifting exhibition of my insane shrine i am beneath the mask, Identities personified (persona 5) thats why i see jokers lying on the other side just keep ya ace up nigga or its do or die yuh Quarantine got you bored yuh, do a spin with a sword yuh get dis in a cord huh, body mind so divorce yuh covid 19 fucked up, 2020 done fucked up covid 19 fucked up, 2020 done fucked up

How i apply music to my art? Uh, like i said before, its a fucking.. Whatever im feeling, actually since music You know, I like i said, music is at like the center of my entire existence so Verse 1: back on my bullshit, the stove that i’m cooking is stirring up poison and pain. Of the hate i’m afraid to let go, cuz my soul is in a terrain of my enemies. who took my love to threaten me. who took my trust to damage me. Mentally, emotionally and also physically. walking around just cope with my thoughts skating the block while i’m chilling with tahj big mon ting when i’m twisting my locks smoking a spliff with the rasta in charge took a year off to experience my youth nineteen now and it’s hard to consume that a year went by, when my best friend died my tears had dried while growing my roots Hook X2: i, Mysticwolf with the reign cooking beef with the steak born and raised in the vile where niggas get killed and tryna be fake You ain’t about say, say you pull up with ya gang lone wolf in the rain, always shrouded in the pain Verse 2: hopped on a new one with mystic, they cannot handle the heat that we bring I gave her pipe then I made that girl sing aye noragamii for the win, not a peasant cause she call me her king looked in her eyes and we instantly zinged, remember the days we'd chill at the park and make out with me with your hair in the wind but now it's all gone I guess it don't matter new thing and her cake way fatter she call me a baker the way I beat batter a year went by and my mood got sadder I lost my damn head call me mad hatter wait kanashi is my mood pass the strap reload unhappy type of vibe hop in the whip and ride Hook x2 Verse 3 I stay in room and then cut on my wrist. Nowhere2go helped stay on my shit. Wanna give up, i have nowhere to run. i resort to my gun but i somehow resist. my consciousness a monstrous disease, my knowledge doesn’t equate to a degree Just why is karma breaking me to pieces, a problem happens every single weekend. Just why? My life keeps getting worst and i try to traverse all my demons my preconceived notions, my life has no meaning i even tired smoking and meditation doesn’t help paranoia by itself is the reason i yell. i melt in a depression, im helpless, it heavy, ready to drop all the thoughts that been resting. *hook x2* Verse 4 think im getting board Vrodie pass my switch start to play games with your sis didn't know I had it like this flow so tight with a lisp bad man run dis, blood clat bun fish me and mystic we lit you do not want this inside I'm dead dearly departed, I'll chop off your head a gaza mi say, so you know we dead batty bwoy, betta watch wah u say lands mine, better watch where you step my camp betta know where u dea sad boi so you know what I rep still alive but inside I'm dead *hook x2*

always stacked with them dividends black excellence, benjamin with them franklins feeling so numb again, batarangs with Bruce Waynes trouble lingering, put the city on my back and these hoes on the side, cause my cape getting bloody everytime i fight a crime twitter always feeding off the false media every women in my path, seem getting shitter and my feelings in between of em my heart is always suffering, im playing whole lotta red to get more devilish and i'm relishing decisions that'll make me rich i'm trying finish off college just to start a business a lot of kanye's feeling so heartless i got a sweatshirt now trying find my solace demolishing all this trust that i had niggas stuck in the mud, when im trying to get a buzz an uchina looking for a rin, sights getting dim, all my life i've been lost in the mist all the rage went ablaze when clenching up my fist doomsday everyday when i'm looking at wrist how time went by, i am 21 now january 13th, what a time to be alive you know the fuckin vibes

2000, i was born, can't fathom that im still alive. outside, and i see a storm, mixed signals, mixed signs. so tired of just hearing lies, mostly of all of just being kind. took advantage for the last time, now you'll witness my state of mind. isolated, bewildered, all because you wanna be selfish. no progression, just plain filler, coldhearted, careless. i hate being so helpless, bitches never wanna be cherished, and now im causing some ravage, which made me a savage. And its real, its a done deal. I pull a sword with hylian shield, slay the beat then protect my soul all the pressure is too much to wield. disintegrating and im molding out. like ray gun just shot my heart. an old nigga feeling much doubt. might as well move and go to the south messing up all of these takes, mindset feeling so taint drugs every single which-way, i be escaping the pain depression isn't a phase, mind is so spacious out of this world, everything else is feeling so vacant pieces and pages, i'm going thru status living this life man, deep in the matrix

Never knock another mans grind Yea the sky might be cloudy, but it’ll soon shine Got a bad feeling in my spine All I got is time Hope I’m using mine right I’m just a nigga, all I want is the limelight Look at me, you could tell that I shine bright My life my life my life my life Wasn’t in the sunshine Shit, I was confined I couldn’t find my purpose, my head burning For a long while, I thought I was a burden But the world kept turning, I started learning That I’m a certain person The best version of who I am Jay fucking Cinema, type of nigga to never give a damn Middle fingers up to my uncle sam Off the top like Rob Van dam I’m the man What you gonna do when shit hits the fan I’m just sitting back Counting the blessings in my hand I’m much more than a flash in the pan Trying to be paid in full, thinking of a master plan Verse 2: Thinking of a masterplan a masterplan to get up out of this house musical drought im feeling doubt crawling all in my head words that i dread putting out for world to listen im pessimistic that's a contradiction to be an artist where the art is i plant gardens to find my hyacinths, my higher sense isn't always common sense that's what my aunt said i tread lightly, over the people that i have in life cuz one little stitch in your skin circles the whole plight i wear my heart on my sleeves the feelings shoot thru the breezee my mind is subtle and gentle my pride is huddled with peace walking down the streets typing all these rhymes but there's thieves in the nightfall preying my demise uh i had learn overtime that generosity never paid me but a dime i had to get quarter of my time cause bitches took a half now im swimming off shore cause i'm trying built a raft of myself to find my worth by reading booking & exercising just the build the herd of self confidence & inner peace affirmations on repeat distancing the world & my mind so it's 6 feet talking to myself and the music so its therapy (******) ride or die, i swear to god i love my bestie auntie ima graduated on time, you just wait and see you just wait and see

Ay, ay I’m butterfly when im energized i’m seeking light through your vivid eyes and I love flowers. and I love nature. I'm a star boy with a lightsaber. with a high top and ain’t talking abel i’m a lone wolf who just writes fables fuck labels fuck bills my intuition will prevail. I'm the only male in my family. that blooms through the insanity. They will always love me through my highs and lows. Never needed hoes to comfort me. i'm stronger now and i know my worth i'm a capricorn with the highest perks Have god on my side faith on side if i had neither, probably suicide i know when i'm down bad i call up in his Name i need to inherit my light then maybe things will change I ain't crying tears of pain. moreso the tears of joy because I spoke to the sun when he hears my voice

The beauty of a plant stems from its roots how its nurtured how it matures and how it grows how comes a black rose isn't acknowledged why it is determined by its appearance? why not its characteristics? how come its constantly shunned and misunderstood by its design and color? That's how I feel about my pigment sometimes. scared to blossom scared to overcome my obstacles scared accept any help from anyone scared to called the police on certain days because my color perceives an ugly trait. out of the norm, why it is so hard to conform in my natural space I wish I knew the answer but I don't. i swallowed my pride within my harden exterior feeling hopeless my flower is starting to rot weakened, unable to sprout my petals of happiness unbearable pain my root been graved of countless amount of mistakes and stains due to my oblivious ways and selfish craves. my petals start falling gradually I lose my luster and glow, my hope is fading drastically. I bloom in black stuck in a taboo of hate and self destruction. vulnerability sucks when you’re used for everyone’s puppets de-attach to the poison strings i'm trying to cut off if so that's why i keep on running until my coffin calls me nobody can be trusted when they formed your darkness black rose

an early morning made my world with your hands show me the sky thru your eyes we found the light in our past the touch ignite what we have painted the sheets with our scent Whispering psalms on my neck my temple frame just for you Head in my arms you repent we speak in tongues when we talk I taste your soul through your lips This narrow road that we walk you pave the way for the kiss I used to pray for this feeling I lost my way i was young nineteen shots in dark a cry for help that i ain't come you still got scars on your skin. You used to play with the flames you said it hurt but it helped For once I finally felt sane four months apart and i grew I know the feelings aint changed I feel each verse when we kiss I write the book day by day Verse 2: I write this book daybyday yea Always- Uh Still loving you still this day (okay) I’ll never forget your face (alright) Your sun shining bright, baby you’re my twin flame (My twin flame) It’s insane What you did for me and you The way we grew I wish that I could turn back time Cuz baby baby you know I love ya (Ooh baby baby) Invite you to my space cuz baby I just wanna hold ya Ooh baby, you know I love you (Ooh baby baby) For eternity I wanna hold ya

woke up this morning i reach for my phone voicemails stay bussing couldn't leave it alone then i caught a slight sliver of the death on my phone then my body had retracted from the depth of my soul frozen in place couldn't find the words to replace of all the times we spent alive laughing, splashing the paint baby blue tears filled up the room as i pray that everything's a nightmare of the stamp of my fears you was a father figure to me meant the whole world to me you had filled the fucking gaps that i had lack, it was a duty. made me to a proper man that i can stand and smile proudly raised me like i was your sons and that i love i needed dearly cause my father couldn't fulfill the role on his own left me out to fucking rot to the roots of my bones went to atone, fabrication straight to his dome trauma packing thru my rapping by the way u threw stones left me alone, sorrows carries true to my songs mane the hate be growing deeper on the canvas i had drawn and all that tough love, is what a nigga needed and every holiday your presence had filled up the ceiling and all the gems u sent my head is really quite revealing it's such a shame you couldn't see your boys journey deepen and although your gone, spirit running thru we following your steps till the day we meet you again

i went dc with tunes with my lil nigga richie got the crimson Carti on me while we listening to jay z put the fragrance on my body like I'm RiRi selling fenty & you know my name is reggie cuz my body's fucking ready got my hand behind the wheel and now I'm pushing out the Chevys got shoutout my birthday twin for the tickets up in philly now im grooving and im moving milly rocking in city and im pockets looking silly cuz that refund ticket just hit me and im doing all these pictures now im making it a movie and i got the toolly ready if u niggas wanna test me put that iron through his temple now he made it through the wire got the metal in my mouth like i was kanye breathing fire doing wheelie in the villey now I'm burning out my tire i aint smithin when im jadenin so im calling it syre I ain't stressin when I'm blazing cuz im tryna to get higher now im seeing northern lights, brodie preaching to the choir

Now it’s time to talk about my insecurities 2018, worst year of my life. i lost x and my pride died with him during graduation what fucking celebration man what a time, shittest man alive. suicide creeps up in my dreams, masturbate to women in damn bed sheets took, stole & rapped lyrics that wasn’t even me, lost my high school honey to my best friend. hate my voice and the way i speak applying pressure on my wrists to see how i much i bleed walking around campus so deceased. Feeding off the negativity from society and how it's treated nigga since the age of 17 nigga Since eighteen, questioning my sexuality breathing in the toxic in my lungs to just strain out my memories Microdosing weed and henny, those my favorite remedies i'm sick and tired, of being sick and tired sicking of running from the life that god has set for me. I hate anxiety, chop my souls in the ground, Madvillany i carry it around like its a living Pedigree i fail to see the vision that these niggas had painted me eyes faded from this weed .. i cant see a thing i'm just gonna grab a drink.. It's just so crazy man god’s always for some reason paints the hardest challenges to the strongest soldiers and shit Its always a struggle for real niggas like me ask me how I see the world wit my eyes low the smoke around my face Im fighting pain in my torso the ear ringing with ur name and the place that I forgo i'm lost inside the sanctum of my ways imma sanctum for yuh weight I fell face first on ya pavement That’s still where I lay I grow fonder as the days move blurry in a haze i been peeping from a skewed view my psyches slow decay i smoke through a q a day these cookies eating at my brain cells and i'm still only home in the east where my pops ? rest his soul probably where i wanna to be down below i been growing cold at the feet ever tombstone i meet pull me closer to my final breath when things fall apart find me hanging in the breeze wind rocking me to sleep Product of the holes that I frequent tumble in the deep end it all for some peace just let it go man let it go let it go let it go Man i can't The last 5 years i've been fucking stress Pleasing all these bitches let me get off my chest Bitching about ya problems All day and night Took me as joke when i gave u some advice Crackers fucking my dreams, like ms. Odell Bitch gave me only c's Wish that i would fail So much i had switch my major And now you set back a whole year in the chamber What is life? i stayed up all night Pushing graphic designs Told me "wasn't enough" "put that shit in the crafts" Said u "wasn't gonna make it Reconsider yo path" I am mysticwolf bitch Fuck feelings fall to that

dont where to go, dont what to do i've been at this school,fucking too long wasted all my funds wasted all my time tryna chase friends bled my art in rhymes calluse on my hands carried niggas weight all their trama too there is no escape drained the pain away tryna cosplay haven't showered yet my temple's in decay where was god at? i even barely prayed cuz when my uncle died you never showed face bitch im suffering yes im dying they only show you roses when yo time ends